Learnt

Something that I've realised that people tend to ask or wonder is...how do you do what you do?
What they forget is, they are either wannabes or beginners or genuine busy bodies...
It isn't about doing it its about learning and loving and accepting who you are.

So even with that question...they've kinda missed the point.

So i thought I would write a little update on things I have learned as a slave since the beginning,

Number one is Patience.
Being a slave is often about this and I didn't have much of it when it came to my new found masochist desires.
However, being a slave rather than a sub, and having an Owner rather than a dom, often has meant that what I want doesn't always happen, and often my opinions even though they're sought, are usually discarded.
I have to be patience in knowing that I know that he knows best.

Number two is Accepting.
Following patience is acceptance...
This I have to say comes with time and time and time.
I know that my desires are not the most important thing, because to me that is more deeply satisfying than thinking I can get whatever I want whenever.
I accept that being frustrated and unwilling can leave my master very unhappy and therefore myself.

Number three is Obedience.
This may always be a work in progress.
I go along thinking that I can completely obey and then some unexpected comes up...(like my stubborness) that challenges my ability to obey him and we go round in a circle.
However, I've found obedience to be one of the things that makes my slave hood, I get overwhelming pleasure from listening and completing his commands.

Number four is Punishment.
We have talked a lot about punishment, time and time again and he has thought about what works and doesn't work for me, and what he wants to do.
Again some things I don't enjoy, some things he knows I love, but all of it is punishment and all punishments are lessons.

Number five is Remember.
Remember everything.
Why we were together, why we were doing this.
I also find that everything is based on your own mindset.
When my master first took away all my rights, (I got a few back obviously) I never understood that he did it for love but he did and the rules and restrictions that followed, I had to remember.

A few things have changed during our relationship but again that's one of the things people need to learn.

So number six is Change.
I hate change, hated change, but he dictates the changes so who am I too argue?
I've learnt to realise that not all changes are bad and that you have to grow, meaning that some things that you once did are no longer needed and therefore leaves room for new decisions.

However one major point I've realised is that no matter how long you've been a slave for your actually always learning, whether it's more about yourself or your Master or your pain threshold.

Fiona x