Dress Appropriately

Today something happened...

I had a new dress
Beautiful, beautiful dress, bright purple and glossy, snug fit and wonderful...

I disobeyed my daddy...

He was very angry
So you think you can just flaunt your body?
Show your body to anyone who happens to walk by?
Have I not told you that you will dress modestly?
Did you truly think that I wouldn't find out about that ridiculously low cut dress you wore today?

You know you will be punished.
I flinched

That dress was to be worn only when I accompanied you and only with my permission.
You agreed to that directive.
I tried to speak...

But no, you disobeyed.
You just had to flaunt your beautiful breasts didn't you?
Those delectable curves, that smooth skin, the pert, hard nipples.
You know you will be punished.
My guess is, that was your intent all along.
To push me.
To test me.
To see if I would truly follow through.
The answer - yes, baby girl I will follow through and you will be punished.

You will cry and you will repent and you will admit not only your wrongdoing, but why you chose to directly disobey an order which you had agreed to.
He paused...breathed deeply...

Yes, it will hurt and you will feel the aftermath of your punishment for several hours, possibly even days, but that's good.
He frowned...

You will learn not to push me, not to test me, and not to disobey.
I want you to know, I am not angry with you, but I am disappointed.

Now, be a good woman and take your punishment.
I hesitated...

Now little one. ..
Breathe in.
First, I will prepare your nipples with my teeth.
I'm going to nip and tug and make sure they are tender and hard.
I know you don't like when I do this, that you prefer gentle sweet kisses, but gentleness and sweetness will not teach you your lesson, will it?

My tears began to fall...
That's right, go ahead and cry.
You can use your safe word if you need to and we will take a break, but you will accept this won't you?

Now, now that your nipples are ripe, now I will clip them.
You will stand, your arms up, tied in place and then I will spank you...and then you will wait until I release you.
Your tears will run down you cheeks and you will understand that you are mine and that I set rules for your protection.

Because I love you.

I will keep watch and make sure you are safe, but your tears will not move me to mercy. 
He grips my face and I stare into his eyes as he mutters..

You will do as I say because you know this is for your own good.
And when I release you, when you feel the soreness of your self later today, tomorrow...
You will know they are mine.

I didn't need to answer.
The dress didn't survive.

Fiona x

Learnt

Something that I've realised that people tend to ask or wonder is...how do you do what you do?
What they forget is, they are either wannabes or beginners or genuine busy bodies...
It isn't about doing it its about learning and loving and accepting who you are.

So even with that question...they've kinda missed the point.

So i thought I would write a little update on things I have learned as a slave since the beginning,

Number one is Patience.
Being a slave is often about this and I didn't have much of it when it came to my new found masochist desires.
However, being a slave rather than a sub, and having an Owner rather than a dom, often has meant that what I want doesn't always happen, and often my opinions even though they're sought, are usually discarded.
I have to be patience in knowing that I know that he knows best.

Number two is Accepting.
Following patience is acceptance...
This I have to say comes with time and time and time.
I know that my desires are not the most important thing, because to me that is more deeply satisfying than thinking I can get whatever I want whenever.
I accept that being frustrated and unwilling can leave my master very unhappy and therefore myself.

Number three is Obedience.
This may always be a work in progress.
I go along thinking that I can completely obey and then some unexpected comes up...(like my stubborness) that challenges my ability to obey him and we go round in a circle.
However, I've found obedience to be one of the things that makes my slave hood, I get overwhelming pleasure from listening and completing his commands.

Number four is Punishment.
We have talked a lot about punishment, time and time again and he has thought about what works and doesn't work for me, and what he wants to do.
Again some things I don't enjoy, some things he knows I love, but all of it is punishment and all punishments are lessons.

Number five is Remember.
Remember everything.
Why we were together, why we were doing this.
I also find that everything is based on your own mindset.
When my master first took away all my rights, (I got a few back obviously) I never understood that he did it for love but he did and the rules and restrictions that followed, I had to remember.

A few things have changed during our relationship but again that's one of the things people need to learn.

So number six is Change.
I hate change, hated change, but he dictates the changes so who am I too argue?
I've learnt to realise that not all changes are bad and that you have to grow, meaning that some things that you once did are no longer needed and therefore leaves room for new decisions.

However one major point I've realised is that no matter how long you've been a slave for your actually always learning, whether it's more about yourself or your Master or your pain threshold.

Fiona x

Place

I've been reading a book for the past few days on DD and their Tih/Hoh relationships...

I was wondering what is it that decides who you are?
If that comitment into the relationship is suitable forever?

Like before my Master and I, I was in a poly gang so to speak, it was more of a cuckhold gathering rather than set people who lived with us.
Aside from the sex we had daddy/daughter roles and I found I grew with that, especially since I was young and my parents were absent.
But also with the guidance and comfort came the abuse, which I didn't recognise as abuse at the time, I just assumed that was normal.
I also knew deep down I was unhappy, sometimes it takes a lot to see the light.

Since meeting my Master them years ago, we didn't discuss how things would progress, he just took the lead and I was very happy to follow.
You could say I was probably submissive to start with but with my daily tasks, rules and permission restrictions I soon knew it wasn't a sub he was after.

This being said is our chosen lifestyle and I have to say we are very happy and I truly believe it grows with you even when you think you've become the best you can be.

But again if I had a choice now would I still be a slave?
To rome free of ties and procedures?
To do everyday things that vanilla people take for granted? 
To not for fill my masters every wish?

No
I am a slave.
For me this is forever.
I truly hope everyone in life finds their peace but also their place.

Fiona x